December 2013

The Maria Alm nativity play - the last bastion of exclusively 'einheimish' (local) tradition, has been infiltrated. Outsiders, Caspar and Mary have sufficiently mastered the local dialect - with nuances known only to those living within a 30 metre radius of the centre of Maria Alm, to land the lead roles (Mary and Joseph) in the annual Christmas performance, played to a full house, of which roughly 5% have the vaguest idea what they are actually saying.

November 2013

Justine popped over to England for a few days to say a very fond farewell to Catherine. 5 hours door to door and less than 50 euros for a return flight - it makes little difference living abroad, unless you are moving to Tasmania, then popping back is trickier and our farewells are more emotional.

October 2013

Issue is not a lovely word, one takes issue, has issues, or one needs a tissue for an issue. Tissues are not lovely things, not remotely romantic, tasteful or attractive. But the latest wedding trend is to provide each guest with a tissue for their 'tears of joy'. The extreme levels of schmaltz alone can be enough to make your eyes water.

September 2013

September is wedding season in Maria Alm. English music is a must-have and whether the text is appropriate for the occasion or not, seems to be of no consequence. Barely one goes by without a rendition of Cohen's Halleluja, 'she tied you to the kitchen chair', and this week the choir serenaded the happy couple with Adele's 'Rolling in the Deep' - 'you're going to wish you had never met me, tears are going to fall, we could have had it all'.

August 2013

Just as Justine's rose-tints were getting cloudy and, no matter how sweet life in Maria Alm can be, the prospect of ski teaching and waitressing for the foreseeable future was horrifying, she came home from her annual stint as Office Manager at Dartington International Summer School with a new job, and it looks like she might get the best of both worlds.

July 2013

The beautiful Friedenskapelle (Chapel of Peace) hidden in the woods above Maria Alm is 25 years old this year. At a service of celebration Justine and Simon provided the music. Challenged by the German language, and confusing 'lieder' (songs) with 'leider' (unfortunately), Justine found herself singing 'I sing unfortunately to you before the sun goes down.'

24 - 30 June 2013

Every five years in Maria Kirchental, Lofer, Jesus and his disciples can be found enjoying a few beers before the performance of the Loferer Passion, re-worked 30 years ago by local composer Cesar Bresgen from the remaining pages of a 250 year old manuscript. In typical historic passion play tradition, it takes place every five years, and in typical small Austrian village tradition, most of the cast have been playing the same parts for 30 years.

17 - 23 June 2013

News of the 'Atlantic multi-decadal oscillation' has put England under a cloud which is expected to last another 10 years. This cycle of wet Summers started in 2007, the very year that we came to Austria. If any smugness is detected then rest assured that Maria Alm has its very own bad weather cycle. No matter how glorious the Summer is, it will almost certainly rain shoemakers' apprentices on Midsummers Eve and snuff out all the Bergfeuer (mountain fires) lit to celebrate the Solstice.

10 - 16 June 2013

When someone has died in Maria Alm it is the Mesner (Simon's) job to ring the Todesglocke (death-bell) and inform everyone of the death. Not so long ago the death-bell wasn't rung, just the almost-dead-bell (Ziehglocke). I can't imagine that that was a terribly encouraging thing to hear as you were lying in your sick bed. 'Never send to know for whom the bell tolls...'.

3 - 9 June 2013

Over the last couple of years the Gemeinde at Maria Alm has spent millions improving flood defence systems, lowering the river bed to protect against the kind of flooding that we saw last year. So when the usual June heavy rain arrived it sloshed down the river through Maria Alm and flooded Saalfelden instead. The prayer of St. Florian is called to mind; "O heiliger Sankt Florian, verschon' mein Haus, zünd' and're an", which translates as "O holy Saint Florian, spare my house, kindle others".

27 May - 2 June 2013

It's raining hard here. In the German language it's raining string (es regnet Bindfäden), throughout the world it would be raining boats and casks, wheelbarrows, shoemakers' apprentices, frogs, nails, chairlegs, fire and brimstone, cobblers' knives, earth and sand, female trolls, toads' beards, tractors, husbands, old ladies, sticks, knives and forks, and in China it would be raining dog poo. The cats and dogs that have been raining here for the last week are flushing the moles and mice out of their holes so it looks as if it's raining rodents.

20 - 26 May 2013

The month of May has four bank holidays in Austria, celebrating National day, Ascension, Pentecost and Corpus Christi. This year each one has had the kind of weather we have always associated with bank holidays in England. On Justine's birthday weekend we walked in the rain and picnicked in the cold with some threatening cows, who are plainly annoyed that their summer holiday in the mountains is postponed.

13 - 19 May 2013

The Maria Alm swimming pool opened this week and then closed again a few days later, if you blinked you would have missed the Summer. We should have looked at the long term forecast before we enthusiastically bought our family season ticket.

6 - 12 May 2013

One of Simon's pupils is planning an exchange trip to England with her school class. The pupils will be living with English families, and to prepare them for the experience, their school teacher has warned them to expect poor levels of hygiene and terrible food.

29 April - 5 May 2013

The Maria Alm Schnalzergruppe is 10 years old. One would think that men and boys from this village had been cracking whips for years but the group is a lot younger than the tradition. Naturally many whips were cracked in celebration, the band played, the vicar blessed, the speeches were interminable, the awards were plentious, the procession was long and included about 40 horses, and only one man with a wheelbarrow and shovel. He should have got an award.

22 - 28 April 2013

St Florian is the patron saint of chimney sweeps and firefighters. As Florian stood on the pyre, on which he was to be burned to death for refusing to persecute the Christians back in AD250, he challenged the Roman soldiers to light the fire saying, "If you do, I will climb to heaven on the flames". So they took him off the pyre, put a millstone around his neck, and threw him in the river Enns. His feast day was celebrated this week. Mary stood in her uniform amongst the ranks of volunteer firemen as the vicar blessed their new fire engine, bought to replace the old one which was bought, blessed and caught fire last year.

15 - 21 April 2013

English history is not covered much in Austrian schools. Caspar, Elizabeth and Mary will learn the names of all the rivers in Austria, all the farms in Maria Alm, but nothing about 1066 or Trafalgar. Fortunately, English history is very colourful and, for example, King Henry VIII and his 'groom of the stool' fascinate the children. The Groom of the Stool was an enviable position, which is a reflection of just how powerful the king was. This leads us to think, how on earth do we get the message across to Heyko that he is not the boss, when he poos and we pick it up.

8 - 14 April 2013

There are too many cooks getting involved in Heyko's training. His confusion is particularly exacerbated by Elizabeth's methods, who questions how she can train him to get down unless he is first up, so he gets a treat for jumping up before he is sternly told to get down.

1 - 7 April 2013

Reaching the summit at Mühlbach, Justine indicated the summit cross with an outstretched hand and gave the usual top of the mountain greeting, 'Sieg heil!'. She has since duly noted that the top of the mountain greeting is in fact 'Berg heil!' (Hail mountain!) and in the future she will do her best to avoid potential arrest, since Nazi salutes in written form, vocally, and even straight-extending the right arm as a saluting gesture (with or without the phrase), have been criminal offences since the end of the war, punishable by up to three years of prison. 

25 - 31 March 2013

Winter is almost over, the village 'make over' months begin and Hotel Eder is getting a new facade. Facades of all kinds can be found everywhere in Maria Alm; the church with it's ostensibly opulent marble interior is one of the biggest frauds, newer buildings are made to look old with wood cladding, outward appearances are paramount, and the welcome smile that makes the guest feel like Lassie finally coming home is carefully honed. After a long and exhausting winter, those facial facades are in need of a make over.

18 - 24 March 2013

Twenty years ago house owners in Maria Alm stained their wooden balconies fashionably dark. Now they are stripping the wood fashionably light. It is a expensive and dusty procedure that all takes place under a big tarpaulin. The whole village looks like a Christo and Jeanne-Claude installation.

11 - 17 March 2013

The job of Messner used to come with a house, a very lovely house. The Messner House is next to the vicarage and now houses the library and Fair Trade shop. Simon is not too disappointed because he has found himself his very own garret in the church. It is cold, dark and sparsely furnished and sometimes he would rather be there than at home!

4 - 10 March 2013

Today, Elizabeth said, "How many days are there until tomorrow?".

25 February - 3 March 2013

Justine and Simon held their breath as Caspar took a leap of faith over the big kicker. Once over it was easy and, after building confidence and practising a few grabs, he was invited to take part in the ski show the following week. But... the very next day the piste bashers bashed the kicker and built a new one twice as big for the Freestyle Big Air Show. Caspar conceded and will realise his dream next Winter.

11 - 17 February 2013

In 1972 a bear migrated from Slovenia and settled in the Ötscher area of central Austria. Against all odds, this bear managed to live alone in this area for almost 20 years until the movement to reintroduce bears to Austria gathered fuel and a female was released into the area. To everyones surprise, this old hermit still had a bit of go in him and fathered three cubs. The last signs of the Ötscher bear were found in 1994. He had become an Austrian legend and, in later years, a local energy drink was named after him. The drink was called “Ötschi” and the slogan was “No Ötschi – no energy!” The link with Maria Alm? Please bear with me it is a little tenuous! The founder of the more celebrated Red Bull energy drink, Dietrich Mateschitz, richest man in Austria, has a house in Maria Alm.

4 - 10 February 2013

This is peak season. Nobody has time to be ill and nobody can afford an injury. This is why it has been known for a winter season contract with a hotel or restaurant to include a clause prohibiting skiing for the entire winter period.

28 January - 3 February 2013

This week featured two Lausköpfe (lice heads). One was plucked from Elizabeth's head and admired, magnified 20 times, under Caspar's new microscope, and the other, at 2158m approximately 2 million times bigger, was admired under blue sunny skies on a snow shoe walk with Jim and Jon.

21 - 27 January 2013

Hochkönig ski region marketing may like to cross their i's and dot their t's but, judging by their latest campaign...

...it looks as though they may need someone to wipe their noses!

14 - 20 January 2013

Mary has now reached double figures. This coming of age signifies that she is now an official member of the Maria Alm Fire Brigade Junior Division, and has the honour, with her friend Nicole, of being the first girl in the team. At their evening meetings, united under the very original motto "One for All and All for One", they practise knots, set light to cars and smash windscreens with axes.

7 - 13 January 2013

The three kings and their guiding star, doing the rounds blessing the houses and collecting for charity, were joined this year by the little known fourth member of the Magi, Queen Rasahtlab. Mary, disappointed to not have been required this year had decided to invent her own member of the Magi and join in anyway.

31 December - 6 January 2013

To celebrate Simon's birthday and New Year, we had an early night and rang the church bells at midnight by remote control from our bed!