December 2016

There is an occasional community of our fellow countrymen in Maria Alm that we have never been a part of and they are out in force this month. They get to be on holiday in Maria Alm, and, what's more, in the middle of the winter season. They get to stay out late, and don't have to get up early. And they update us regularly about what delicious food they are eating that they haven't cooked themselves. One day we hope to join them, and then they won't be quite so annoying!

November 2016

Caspar took the day off school on 11 November to fight a fire at the Niederreiter Hotel. One of 230 voluntary firemen on the scene - his job was 'hoovering'. Not dust, which would have been quite futile, but water. When the fire was quenched, the hotel drenched, some benevolent soul ordered a snack for all 230 firemen. Being volunteers they all rushed back to their day jobs, leaving Caspar with his second job, to make sure 230 Lebekase Semmel didn't go to waste.

October 2016

Justine is now dividing her time between the two most beautiful places on earth.

September 2016

Meanwhile, back in the bakery, the latest plan for Justine to spend a year in Devon, covering maternity leave as Programme Manager at Dartington Summer School, is viewed with small-village-mentality suspicion. This neglect of wifely duty will surely result in the children starving in squalor, and can only mean that Justine and Simon are getting divorced. Elizabeth doesn't approve either and informed Justine that mothers should be at home looking after the children, only fathers are allowed to go away to work, and this terrible plan contravenes everything she understands to be normal and acceptable. Then she wondered aloud whether more income meant that she could have a hover-board for Christmas.

August 2016

Mary spent a week in Paris this month, learning French. On her return journey Lufthansa pulled her and her friend Maria (also an unaccompanied minor) off the flight because it was overbooked! Feeling unsure, she sent 12 messages to Justine (who had no reception in deepest Devon) before accepting the €250 cash offered as compensation and unlimited food and drink in the VIP lounge. By the time Justine had received the 'Mummy pleeeeaasssse help me' messages, found out what happened and managed to get the personal email of the CEO of Lufthansa from her well-connected friends at Dartington in order to vociferously voice her incredulity, Mary was safely home thinking about how to spend her new found wealth.

July 2016

Simon doesn't take his responsibility for 'Wetterlauten' (the practice of ringing bells to ward off bad weather) too seriously(see blog 1 - 7 October 2012). And with good reason. This practice led to the untimely deaths of some unfortunate Mesners and was banned in 1783. Many of the church bells in our region carry the inscription 'Vivos Voco. Mortuos plango.Fulgura frango'. 'I call the living, I mourn the dead, I repel lightning'. Really though, the bells don't repel lightning they conduct it, right down to the Mesner who is ringing it.

June 2016

No matter how balmy early May can be, the wise wait until three Saints days have passed before planting out the balcony flowers. Saint Pancreas, beheaded for his faith at the age of fourteen and honoured with sainthood and a London railway terminus, Saint Servatius, Dutch saint thought to be a cousin of John the Baptist who baptised Attila the Hun, and Saint Mamertus, who introduced prayers to ward off earthquakes and other natural disasters, are collectively known as the Ice Saints or Eismänner, and their days bring cold weather and the last frost of the year. Those days are done and dusted and Maria Alm's balconies are blooming once again.

May 2016

To celebrate becoming qualified mountain walking guides, and the end of an intense ten day course, Justine and Simon took the children out for dinner at Jufen. It was closed - Justine and Simon had failed to put into practice all they had learnt about planning a tour. Instead the children charged around for half an hour until Caspar hit his head providing a practical demonstration of just how much blood can be lost from a head injury. Justine and Simon competently put into practice all they had learnt about first aid. The compression bandage, emergency call, use of shock position and rescue blanket were all complimented by the ambulance staff who took Caspar off for his annual sojourn in hospital.

April 2016

Caspar was sworn into the fire brigade this month. The boy that is seemingly unaware of the primary function of a mobile phone may be notified by SMS that he is required to get to the fire station in 5 minutes to respond to an emergency call. School takes priority, but weekends, evenings and nights he should be on full alert. Caspar and 'full alert' is an unusual coupling, and the chance of him responding to anything at night would be remote, save that, since Elizabeth's birthday and the arrival of Mr Muddle, the long-yearned-for hamster, everyone, apart from Elizabeth, is wide awake in the small hours listening to him go round his squeaky wheel.

March 2016

Maria Alm has about 2000 villagers, 60 farms, cows, sheep, goats and chickens, and the National Demo Ski Team Women's AND Men's Champions 2016. A double victory on home turf. The crowd, about 3% of the village population, the rest suffering season fatigue, went wild.

February 2016

This is the official transport for the Austrian Military Parachute Group. Adventure, Experience, Tradition. MILF-O!

January 2016

When Caspar asked Justine to iron his trousers she said no, but she'd show him how to do it himself. 'Give a man a spade...said Simon. 'I know, I know', said Caspar 'Give a man an apple and he'll keep the doctor away, teach a man to apple....?