20 - 26 April 2009

Children's TV is a great language learning resource. Justine feels very confident now at German level four year old, but feels obliged to watch telly with the children because much of it really ought to have a PG rating. Simon has to watch it too, so that Justine can hide behind him in the scary bits. Sunday afternoon Grimm's fairy tales are like remakes of the Blair Witch Project. Family viewing includes detailed diagrams of penetrative sex followed by full frontal childbirth. Granted, children should know where an egg comes from, but should they have to watch the little boy chicks being conveyerbelted to the big rubbish bin of death, or the little pink piggy jerking around following a massive electric shock, before it's blood gushes from its slit throat? Apparently, they should.

13 - 19 April 2009

After 40 days of abstinance, there is just not enough chocolate featured in Austria's Easter celebrations. Hard boiled eggs, that one should pick the grit out of after they've been dropped and crushed underfoot in the competitive rush of the egg and spoon race to make an egg mayonnaise sandwich as a nod to something that feels vaguely healthy when you've eaten so much chocolate that you really can't even manage that wafer thin mint, are the big treat of the day. They are deceptively brightly painted, but just not chocolatey enough. We are calling a national emergency and would welcome any donations to our home address.

6 - 12 April 2009

Justine choked on her well deserved beer, following her first ever full day of teaching non-beginners skiing, when an agitated man approached the ski-teachers' table to ask, 'I've been waiting for an hour, where is my 8 year old daughter?'. She was sure she'd counted them all at the end of the lesson. Fortunately, the tearful reunion took place moments later, and Justine's beer was still as cold as her blood had momentarily run. Full of good intentions, she set off enthusiastically with her group the next morning, only to receive a call, 20 minutes later, from her boss, who had a four year old with him that she'd left behind. Once Justine had learnt to count, the rest of the week went without a hitch.

30 March - 5 April 2009

For those resort workers who survived the winter uninjured, 'Zipferl Bob' - the end of season event, a perfect blend of drink and danger - provided a final opportunity to be helicoptered off the mountain. We played Russian Roulette with our coccyxs on every curve, corner and hummock of this bum boarding Cresta Run, and then skillfully skirted the far more dangerous sport of mixing schnapps and beer, to go home, all intact, for a nice cup of tea. Although, sometimes, we like to think we can handle the pace, one need's to know when to opt out!