In translating a health spa brochure, Simon has found it necessary to familiarise himself with the vocabulary of the beauty treatment world. Literal translations - 'the lovely smell of a warm package', 'kids grooming', 'hand job', 'tautening body envelopes' - have received a full makeover with optimum purification and detoxification; precious aromatic balsams and active enzymes have activated energies and facilitated manual lymphatic drainage of such dodgy expressions. As far as he is concerned, a uniquely harmonising and holistic translation for the lot is, 'a load of old bollocks'.
